Top 10 Things to Get Me Over PSU losing to...I can't even say it

Okay, basically if you're reading this, you know me and know my love for Penn State. So imagine how excited I was this season with Michigan losing to Appalachaian State and Oregon in the big house...
It was time for revenge. It was our year. It was our turn.

It was impossible for us to score a freaking touchdown.

That's right, for the 9th straight time, my boys couldn't handle themselves against the f****** Wolverines. No, I'm not bitter at all...psha

So I'm making a list of the Top Ten things/stories this week that have been so odd, bizarre, random, hilarious that they have ALMOST made me forget about the game...but I'm still writing and I'm still pissed off, so obviously hasn't worked out so well...



10. I have cable at my apartment now!! My cable lady is THE most talkative person ever. Seriously. My mom drinking tea can't even compete with this lady. I know her life story. Her 20 year old son brought his girlfriend home 2 years ago and Evelyn (that's my cable lady) looked at her son's 18 year old girlfriend and said "Do love my son?" She said yes. Evelyn said "If you get pregnant, I'm not going to be mad. You and the baby can visit. Just make sure you take the baby with you when you leave". My faith in her parenting is a little on the shaky side. Evelyn later asks if I want movie channels. Nah, I think I'm okay. So she tells me ALL about this new show on HBO called "Tell Me You Love Me". She says it's graphic and that it shows "Whoo Whoo's" and "Nay Nay's"-I kid you not. So 2 hours later, she actually hooks my cable up and whaddyaknow, the show is on HBO. So she sits on my couch. And. Begins. To. Watch. The. Show. With. Me....And she was right about it being graphic, I believe in the 30 minutes she pretended to be doing work while stealing sideways glances at the tv, I saw 3 sex scenes. So in essence, my cable lady and I bonded over soft core porn. Rock on. NEXT!



9. To go along with cable, it is premier time on tv! The Bachelor is back (and HHHOOOOTTTT-McFreakingYummy, cause he looks like McSteamy from Grey's Anatomy--)--which is also back, but without Addison cause she's now in Private Practice. And then there is ANTM, my guilty pleasure, and it's fantastic, followed by Gossip Girl. My one issue this season is going to be--Kevin Federline on ONE TREE HILL--oh dear god help us all. Don't screw up my show like you are screwing up your children or I will come after you like the courts are goin for Brittney.



8. Buffalo. It is absolutely gorgeous outside and I have my beautiful red convertible to enjoy it in. I drive through Shelby Farms every day to and from work (for those of you don't know, it's basically a big park/reserve with trails, lakes, etc. I used to run cross country there) There are buffalo in one area and I see them grazing every day. I, being the nerd I am, wave to the buffalo each and every morning and when I'm going home. The baby ones are adorable. Then I get "Home on the Range" stuck in my head for a few hours. "Oh give me a home, where the buffalo roam..."



7. Darts. I forgot how much I loved playing. I played a round after my episode of mainlining shots after the game...it was a fun game for many reasons. Then last night with Andy and Becky at The Windjammer. Fantastic.



6. Beer. Umm...I really don't feel that this needs much of an explanation, but it is my friend and has helped me cope with this tragic loss.



5. Jack Bauer. I am now a little over halfway through the second season of 24 and dear mother of god, it is amazing. I found myself bawling the other night while watching one of the episodes. Jack Bauer, I don't care if you just got busted with your second DUI, I need you. President Palmer needs you. America needs you. (Oh, and can you put in a good word for me with Tony? Thanks. Great.)



4. Randomness. Because we know my life would not be, well, my life without it. While at the Windjammer playing darts, I saw a familiar face from back in the day. A guy who I am pretty sure spends every night looking for a bar to sing karaoke in. He and his friend used to serenade me when I was in high school...he is a professor at U of M (yes-I was in high school, he was a college professor-you do the math). I run into him EVERYWHERE. Cotton Carnival, walking down the stairs with my soc. professor, in the library, at Wal-Mart at 10pm, at an auction, in Tunica and alas, at the Windjammer when he was one of the 6 other people in the bar. What are the odds? He once wrote his name and number on a napkin and handed it to me before returning to the other room to dedicate "My Girl" to me...ahhh, I love my life.



3. Puppies. Let's face it, there is no better therapy than puppy therapy. And I got lots of it and plan to get more immediately after work.



2. The customer service representative from liquidconnection.com and her fantastic attitude that serves her customers to the best of her ability. Yeah, notsomuch. But it got me riled up and took my focus off of the events of Saturday, September 22, 2007. I think I want to go out to California and slap her in the face. My package got shipped to my old house. No, not where my parents are living and where I have lived since 9th grade. I mean my old house that I haven't lived in since before I had a driver's license. Luckily we are still friends with our old neighbors so they got the package to me. Also, the glass shelves (it's a wine rack-I know, shocking for me. I don't have clothes in my closet but a wine rack, check!) were completely shattered. So I e-mail customer service saying that it was shipped to the wrong place and that the glass was shattered. She responds back telling me that they do not input information so I must have typed in the wrong address. Doesn't even address the shelf issue. So I forward her my receipt with my CURRENT address and my BILLING address...none of those are on Kirby are they sweetie? I say it may have been the fault of UPS. So she responds regarding the shelves (funny how she skirts the issues I find important at the time) and says that she can file a damage claim and I can send the item back. I ask will I have to pay anything extra for shipping and should I just send the shelves back since they are the only thing broken. She responds "Well, I have to know exactly who has the item and where it is". Okay, let's follow something-I know the shelves are broken right? So that means I have them. And let's deduce that I was having it shipped to where I lived, so the shelf would be at the original shipping address right? Not so bright are ya Jade? Ignorance--pisses you off but it does make me laugh sometimes.

1. The bartender. Let's just start off by singing "I like the baaartender", cause that's my theme song. Where do I begin? He's a hot man and he serves me alcohol-it's obviously love at first sight. He works at Gill's. He helped me cope on Saturday. When he sensed I was having another episode, he so sweetly looked at me and asked "A double this time?". Yes please, bring on more goldschlager. And the number one reason why the bartender is getting me through the week? Because I get to see him again tomorrow when my team rallies and beats Illinois! Let's hear it for the hot men!!! Hip-hip Hooray!

So tomorrow I get to enjoy football, beer and man-candy. I sound like such a dude. Everybody have a fantastic weekend.

The Zoo Rendezvous--Y-U-M!

So I went to my work function on Saturday night with my friend Andy. Oh my goodness--it was a BLAST. We walk in and immediately head for a table with wine--which was nasty, so we chucked it in a trash can and then the bright lights came on and choirs began to sing...yes, there was a Yuengling booth. I think we actually ran over there to get some delicious refreshment! So after we were content with our amazing beer (not sold in Tennessee--but apparently will be starting in October according to the Bosco's guy!) we decided to check out the food.

Okay, we scan the map. We stop at Bonefish for bang bang shrimp. Delicious as always. Then we get Gus's Fried Chicken--my first time, amazing! Then we hit up the pavilion with some of my favorites--PF Chang's lettuce wraps, Seiksui sushi, Folk's Folly beef tenderloin, Paulette's apricot pork tenderloin, Half Shell's shrimp and lobster bruscetta and oh okay there was another bar there! We stop by some place with some grilled shrimp, then Big Foot Lodge-giant fried pickles and BBQ eggrolls (yes, bbq, coleslaw deep fried with bbq sauce-it was as amazing as it sounds!). Pretty sure by that time I was getting full, but I powered through and got another drink. We stopped by the college football room, checked scores, then decided to wander around the rest of the stands and maybe just eat ONE more thing...

HA! Some place has beans on top of cornbread with tabasco sauce-not the best, but it was pretty tasty. Then Flemings has a beef tenderloin carpaccio tart--yes, it was like a delicious meat cookie. So we're full again. Wait-Andy wants Rendezvous ribs. We're full again. Oh, Cafe Toscana has 5 cheese tortellini in a bolognese sauce and chocolate mousse. Stuffed! Oh wait, Butcher shop has beef tenderloin and sauteed mushrooms! Okay, we're really full. Oh wait, I want a chocolate covered strawberry!

So we manage to waddle back to the college football room since the food no longer was appealing to us (although it still smelled amazing!). We hung out for the end of the Alabama/Arkansas game and enjoyed the crowd. Then they cleared out, so Andy and I began getting two beers at a time before we sat down to watch some football. It was a beautiful thing. Even though the popcorn on the table MADE me eat it when I was so full.

All in all, it was a really fun night--especially after having moved into my apartment all day-it was nice to just relax! The picture above was taken for RSVP magazine--they post it on their site before the issue comes out. I didn't realize at the time that me trying to hide my beer behind my map looks like I'm flipping off the photographer! Note that Andy was able to hide his drink and not flip anybody off! It just amuses me...we'll see if they notice it or not and put it in the magazine after all!

Well, other news in my life is that I'm just slowly moving stuff into the apartment! I should be sleeping there in another day or so--I just need my clothes and shoes so I'll be able to go to work! Get excited for my place--if you are reading this and live in Memphis, you'll have to stop by soon! If you're not in Memphis-what are you waiting for people?! I know some people that need to come visit me! (Or visit my sister--this means YOU Angie!). So check your calendars-I might even make you a martini! =)

Drama and Excitement...

So in case some of you get bored reading about my boy drama...I will share the exciting news first!

I'm going to be an Aunt--AGAIN!!

That's right...my sister and Chad are having baby #2...they are not finding out the sex of the baby again, but I think it's going to be a girl! (Note today that I'm saying that and sticking to it!) So I think it'll be a pooker-ette!!! Just wanted to share the excitement with y'all! She is due in early April, so at least she won't be suffering in the summer heat while preggers!

So on to my drama...

In the past week, I have had "boy plans" (I don't call them dates unless I know) 3 times. Yes, check that, 3 times. More times in one week that in the past year. (Excluding the boyfriend period of time). So how were my dinners out you ask? Um, right, NONE of them happened! One of the guys had to work--so he is excused. The other two...ummm, I never heard from them again!! "Would you like to go to dinner this week?" "I'd love to"--all of these conversations happened on a Sunday. Last week, didn't hear from him until Thursday. This week--umm, today is Friday and still nothing!

Are there like, embarassing pictures of me floating around the internet or something? Do they google me after they ask me out and decide it's a bad idea? I mean, seriously. For this to happen once is one thing, but twice within a week is quite another!

Just goes to show you I need a man instead of boys...I mean grow up. I'm over playing games. Ridiculous I tell you.

This wouldn't be such a big deal (okay, that's a lie)-but I have a work event this weekend and need a date! So I don't want to call somebody that has, in essence, stood me up. Sending a wrong message I think. So I have envoked my guy friend back-up date card on my friend Andy. It wasn't hard to entice him, my work event is a party that is catered at the Memphis Zoo by about 80 local restaurants and bars. Free food, liquor and college football on big screen tvs. (Michelle, I know you're jealous--I'd take you as my date if you weren't in New York!).

SO please feel free to comment on the boys of my generation and why they feel this kind of behavior is okay. I just know that my little nephew Luke will not grow up to be one of these boys! And let's just hope my little niece (hee hee) will never have this happen to her.

Hope everybody has a wonderful weekend! I'm looking forward to some more college football and two very fun evenings out with friends!

I'm out like Britney's career... (haha, sorry, just had to throw that in there)

False alarm...

So I was tired all day at work on Friday, not a lot going on at the office. I got to home and babysit and was exhausted, BUT it was my friend Kyle's last night bartending (which is the end of an era, the Sports Pub holds many fond memories for me during my last semester of college!) So I drag myself out of the house after Luke has been picked up--around 10:30. I wasn't planning on staying out late-I had to be fresh for college game day!!! Drinking at 11am will take a lot out of you (plus, there is a hot bartender at the bar we go to, so I had to look cute-duh!)

Let me preface this by telling you that when I was home for lunch, I had the dogs in the laundry room (that's where we keep them gated in so they can play and not destroy the rest of the house). Well, they are curious little puppies...so I go in when I hear clanging and notice they've ripped something out of an outlet and there are wires hanging out. No idea what this thing it--it's just a box...I thought maybe something for the built in iron or something?

Well, when I'm with Luke later--I notice our alarm panel is lit up and says "Trouble". Rooby doo?! It wasn't beeping though, so maybe there was a power surge? Well later, it shows a door is open. I'm home alone and my alarm is telling me a door is open. I panic a little-yes, I actually went around to the doors with an umbrella (what was I going to do really? Shield myself if a robber decided to throw a bucket of water on me?!). Nothing wrong. No beeping. Fine, I'm going to have a drink.

I was SO exhausted, and my darling Brittany was a few vodka tonics deep, so we ended up not staying out long. I was there maybe an hour and 20 minutes. I pull in my garage at around 12:05 and hear the alarm beeping--just like it does before it's about to sound the loud alarm to everybody. So I run in, punch in the code-and it doesn't shut off! The 5th try, it finally turns off. I hear the dial tone on our answering machine--somebody has just called and hung up. I check the caller ID and see it was our friends down the street. Odd-why are they calling at midnight? I let the dogs out and a silver car pulls up-I think it's my friend Becky, who was living with me for a few weeks. No, it's our friend from down the street. He jumps out "Is everything okay?" he asks. I'm so confused. Then I'm like, "Oh no, has the alarm been going off out here where everybody can hear it?" He says, "No, but the company called us and said that the fire department had been alerted". I begin my explanation of how the alarm was being weird, when yes, around the corner comes a fire truck, lights flashing siren blaring. Oh crap. Three firemen hop off the truck and head up the driveway, fully decked out with coats, hats, extinguishers, etc. I'm still in my cleavage shirt and heels, so I'm sure they think I've been out partying. Little do they know that after two beers, I was calling it a night (sad sad fact, I know).

So here I am, all dressed up and three firemen are coming in my house. This is not quite the fantasy I had pictured. They are just not attractive and I think they were laughing at me because I have no idea what is going on. I show them the alarm panel, and they can't push any buttons either. Then I try to explain them the "wall plug in thing" that the dogs had gotten to, wondering if that had anything to do with it. I had to show it to them, since "wall plug in thing" apparently isn't a good enough description. "Oh yeah" he says "that's the battery". Welp, that'll do it! So they leave, I apologize to them for having to come out as there is no fire. They take off their gear in the driveway, my poor dogs are terrified of them and their large equipment...they were hiding behind my legs letting out pathetic barks to protect me...real sweet girls.

So I decide to pass out on the couch in case the alarm goes off again I can hear it. Becky wakes me up at 2am because it's beeping again and I, in my exhausted state, didn't hear it. Again, the code didn't work until about the 8th try. We still hear beeping though. The panel in my parents room is going crazy now. So finally we get that one shut off too. So yeah, combine all of this with dogs that wake me up at 630am, I did not get a lot of sleep. The guy on duty called me on Saturday at the bar and they will be coming out to fix the battery and wires.

So Saturday was fun-I got to see the hot man, my team won, and teams that I don't like lost (although I did want Notre Dame and Michigan to pull it out so they'd look better when we beat them! But yeah--UT, muahahahaha, they lost!).

Anyways, thought y'all would appreciate the fireman story (or as my sister called them last week "the firetruck guys").

Stay tuned...