Current song: "All I Want for Christmas is You"
Countdown: 30 minutes till the weekend, 4 days till Christmas
Dance moves: being busted out in my office...yes, I'm doing my happy dance
So the past week has been very stressful in the life of Mary. I'm stressed with friend issues, boy issues (as always) and work has just been crazy. Deadlines had to be met and projects wrapped up today. But I found out officially that I don't have to be at work until January 2 after I walk out of these doors today. That's right...
I'M DONE WORKING UNTIL 2008!
On top of that, I'm super excited for Christmas. I can't wait to see little Pooker open presents and get excited about Christmas lights and such. And spending time with my family since I feel like I never see them during the daytime (stupid real world). Um, and yeah, there's the Christmas dinner as well-and leftovers since I didn't get any after Thanksgiving!!
Also, a week from today, I'll be in Destin! I was supposed to be headed to the ATL for New Years and the Auburn bowl game, but it fell through...which was tragic and upset me...but my friends redeemed themselves and are going to party with me in Destin...so if you're there, look out!!
I also have to say that last night, I was stressed out, in a foul mood, etc. But my parents took me to the Trans Siberian Orchestra concert because my dad remembered that I heart them. Okay, I've been to some pretty good shows. But THIS show was so dynamic and had something for everybody-rock, heavy metalish guitar solos, amazing vocals, blues, carols, hymns-and a freaking awesome light show that was like fireworks without the loud sounds and well, fire. Seriously, if you EVER have the opportunity to see them in concert, DO IT. I also think it would be a good date...but that's because I'm apparently in that holiday phase where I think everything is cute and romantic (unless I'm in traffic, then I might just want to punch you in the face).
Anyways, it was wonderful and cheered me up! And I finished all of my projects today, got a few little gold stars from clients and bosses. I even made my world famous brownies and put my office in a great mood (no, they weren't "those" kind of brownies, but they are a triple chocolate threat!). AND yesterday, I got to deliver two bikes to my favorite radio station here in Memphis who was doing a fundraiser for Toys for Tots--I took up donations in my office so it was great to see the results, a little pink bike (which I had a great time posing with) and a little blue bike--so it's great to know that two more children will be all smiles on Christmas day. Warm and fuzzy feelings-yay!
So I hope that everybody is safe in their travels and over the holidays!! All of my best wishes and love to all of you!! I'm sure I'll be blogging again soon...just wanted to with y'all a very Merry Christmas and Happy New Year if you are too busy to check in!!
"Come and trim my chirstmas tree,
With some decorations bought at Tiffany's (WOO HOO)
I really do believe in you,
Let's see if you believe in me
Santa baby, forgot to mention one little thing, a ring,
I don't mean on the phone, (or as Luke sings-I DON'T NEED A PHONE!)
Santa baby, so hurry down the chimney tonight"
Friday, December 21, 2007
Tuesday, December 18, 2007
I have no words...
I am sorry, but this is by far one of the funniest things I have ever seen. I was in tears yesterday because I was laughing so hard. As some of you may know, I was known as "The Goat" by my neighbors when I was younger. The house I grew up in backed up to a farm, and I was fascinated by the goats. So I learned how to imitate one (sound and a facial/mouth thing...don't ask) so the neighbors thought it was hilarious. He even brought me a basket full of toy goats and the book "Three Billy Goats Gruff" for my graduation in May...
So imagine how hard I was laughing when I saw this video...very hard. I almost fell over myself. As my sister said, it's kind of sad, but it's just so funny you can't help but laugh. And even better, she said "What if that happened to us when we got excited or scared?" That mental image alone of my sister falling over every time somebody mentions snow kills me...
So here it is...enjoy...it's getting me through my day (I'm really really annoyed right now)
So imagine how hard I was laughing when I saw this video...very hard. I almost fell over myself. As my sister said, it's kind of sad, but it's just so funny you can't help but laugh. And even better, she said "What if that happened to us when we got excited or scared?" That mental image alone of my sister falling over every time somebody mentions snow kills me...
So here it is...enjoy...it's getting me through my day (I'm really really annoyed right now)
Wednesday, December 12, 2007
I need a glass, er, bottle of wine...
So to begin my day with, I had to go to downtown to the Cook Convention Center for jury duty. For my friends who don't live here...this is not a good area of town. Parking is limited and well, let's face it, the very diverse population that is Memphis isn't always a positive environment (just saying, since we are on that top 10 most dangerous/crime filled cities).
So it starts at 9. I get downdown at 830 and am STUCK in traffic. As in can't move. So I sit there (wearing a turtleneck sweater and boots--no breast or ankle comments for me today thank you!) in my car, and I mean, the sketchiest of the sketchy people are walking on the sidewalk. Okay, I drive a pretty nice car now. So when these people start crossing the street, looking in my car, bend down on the sidewalk to look in, I get a little squeamish. I'm like, what is going on?! It's like, they dredged up the projects. Are all of these people going to jury duty? I can't even explain how bizarre the scene was. Then I realized that they were all crossing the street to 201 Poplar...which is our court/police department building. Hahaha, figures...these people are probably ones that I will be a juror for in February.
Jury duty wasn't too bad today, they just sat us down, explained how it was our civic duty, and called out weeks for us to serve. I got some good quality people watching done.
So THEN I was going to lunch today from my work. I usually go to Schnuk's for the salad bar. So my building is on an arterial road in Memphis known as Poplar (yes, where 201 is...but much further away).
So the light from Poplar in front of my building is basically a four-way stop sign. EXCEPT for the people coming from Poplar. It makes sense, because if it backs up, major traffic jam on Poplar which is no fun at all! So I'm at a stop sign waiting to turn left to get to the light. So the cars coming from Poplar are crossing in front of me. Well OBVIOUSLY I can't go anywhere with cars coming.
Tell that to the freaking moron behind me!
Cars that come from Poplar sometimes don't know that they're not supposed to stop, so they pause, then the light bulb goes off, and they tear across the intersection. So I never go even if they pause, cause it's only a matter of time before they slam on the gas and into me.
So I sit at my stop sign. The lady behind me honks her horn. I raise my hands as if to say "Nothin I can do!" Then a car pauses, then goes. The woman behind me then lays on her horn a bit longer. Seriously? Then a bunch of cars start going through...so she LAYS on her horn, like, WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH (I don't know how to type a horn sound?!) So I whip my head around and try to do the sign "They don't have a stop sign!" Yeah, cause she understood that? It's like when somebody lets you in and you wave and say "Thank you"...they can't hear you, they are in another car!
So then the light ends, but people are still turning right into the building entrance, doing the pause then go thing. So she now stutters the horn in between long honks. I mean, this went on for over a minute. I'm getting SO annoyed at this point. I already had to spend the morning with a bunch of incompetant people, do I really need to be harassed by one right now? Then I see her get out of her car.
She approaches me and I GLADLY roll down my window. Now mind you, I've had people try to confront me before about stupid stuff and I'm always very polite. "Well, I'm sorry m'am, but they don't have a stop sign there"
No no no, not this time. I was highly irritated. And hungry. And tired. Not a good combo woman.
So she walks up, yelling profanities and pointing her finger. When she leans down and gets her finger in my face, I lost that last thread of sanity. I think I turned red and steam came from my ears.
"M'am, your horn is not going to make a stop sign appear in their direction, meaning there is NOT one there right now. So get your hand out of my face, calm the f#&! down, and get back in your car" and roll up the window. She knocked on my window again--and I'm pretty sure she called me a few choice words before she walked away, but whatever, I was right.
Then I had my chance to turn, so I did. But do you have any idea how much I wanted to just sit there to piss her off anymore?
Anyways...thought y'all would appreciate my day as a true Memphian...hanging out by 201 and getting into a traffic altercation...AWESOME.
So it starts at 9. I get downdown at 830 and am STUCK in traffic. As in can't move. So I sit there (wearing a turtleneck sweater and boots--no breast or ankle comments for me today thank you!) in my car, and I mean, the sketchiest of the sketchy people are walking on the sidewalk. Okay, I drive a pretty nice car now. So when these people start crossing the street, looking in my car, bend down on the sidewalk to look in, I get a little squeamish. I'm like, what is going on?! It's like, they dredged up the projects. Are all of these people going to jury duty? I can't even explain how bizarre the scene was. Then I realized that they were all crossing the street to 201 Poplar...which is our court/police department building. Hahaha, figures...these people are probably ones that I will be a juror for in February.
Jury duty wasn't too bad today, they just sat us down, explained how it was our civic duty, and called out weeks for us to serve. I got some good quality people watching done.
So THEN I was going to lunch today from my work. I usually go to Schnuk's for the salad bar. So my building is on an arterial road in Memphis known as Poplar (yes, where 201 is...but much further away).
So the light from Poplar in front of my building is basically a four-way stop sign. EXCEPT for the people coming from Poplar. It makes sense, because if it backs up, major traffic jam on Poplar which is no fun at all! So I'm at a stop sign waiting to turn left to get to the light. So the cars coming from Poplar are crossing in front of me. Well OBVIOUSLY I can't go anywhere with cars coming.
Tell that to the freaking moron behind me!
Cars that come from Poplar sometimes don't know that they're not supposed to stop, so they pause, then the light bulb goes off, and they tear across the intersection. So I never go even if they pause, cause it's only a matter of time before they slam on the gas and into me.
So I sit at my stop sign. The lady behind me honks her horn. I raise my hands as if to say "Nothin I can do!" Then a car pauses, then goes. The woman behind me then lays on her horn a bit longer. Seriously? Then a bunch of cars start going through...so she LAYS on her horn, like, WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH (I don't know how to type a horn sound?!) So I whip my head around and try to do the sign "They don't have a stop sign!" Yeah, cause she understood that? It's like when somebody lets you in and you wave and say "Thank you"...they can't hear you, they are in another car!
So then the light ends, but people are still turning right into the building entrance, doing the pause then go thing. So she now stutters the horn in between long honks. I mean, this went on for over a minute. I'm getting SO annoyed at this point. I already had to spend the morning with a bunch of incompetant people, do I really need to be harassed by one right now? Then I see her get out of her car.
She approaches me and I GLADLY roll down my window. Now mind you, I've had people try to confront me before about stupid stuff and I'm always very polite. "Well, I'm sorry m'am, but they don't have a stop sign there"
No no no, not this time. I was highly irritated. And hungry. And tired. Not a good combo woman.
So she walks up, yelling profanities and pointing her finger. When she leans down and gets her finger in my face, I lost that last thread of sanity. I think I turned red and steam came from my ears.
"M'am, your horn is not going to make a stop sign appear in their direction, meaning there is NOT one there right now. So get your hand out of my face, calm the f#&! down, and get back in your car" and roll up the window. She knocked on my window again--and I'm pretty sure she called me a few choice words before she walked away, but whatever, I was right.
Then I had my chance to turn, so I did. But do you have any idea how much I wanted to just sit there to piss her off anymore?
Anyways...thought y'all would appreciate my day as a true Memphian...hanging out by 201 and getting into a traffic altercation...AWESOME.
Monday, December 10, 2007
Jump for My Love!
So...I know my posts are usually pretty funny (okay, at least I think so...y'all probably just roll your eyes) but I am just so so annoyed right now, this is going to basically be a vent. That's right, this is a disclaimer. If you don't like drama...well, then what are you doing on my page to begin with? I'm telling you, my life should be a reality show.
So my post is about friends. Not my true friends, like my sister or my Jennis who I have known for years and STILL manage to make time for me. I'm talking the fair-weather friends-- They only stick around when it's convenient for them.
It wouldn't be so bad if I didn't know that when they tell me they are too busy to hang out, they actually went out elsewhere with other people. As Jen and I vented to each other the other day, it's even worse when these people have boyfriends. And talk to them every day. And probably sleep with them every night. So really, you haven't seen your "best friend" in 3 weeks, but you have to see the guy you see every day and night for dinner...way to prioritize.
My theory on this? If he's the guy for you, you will have the rest of your lives to spend with each other. What if I'm not living near you a year from now? What if I am but I've gotten so fed up with being put on the backburner, that I'm not around when you need a girls night? I'm not one to give up on friendships, but I do have to be a little selfish and think of myself sometimes...and when I'm upset enough to write a blog about this...it's not good for my health!
So don't give me lame excuses. If you're SOOO busy, that's fine, I get it. I've been there. But if you're just WAY too busy until 7pm when you then go out with your boyfriend for dinner and drinks...nope, sorry. Lost my sympathy right there.
And ANOTHER thing, and I really hate this one. Do not expect me to feel bad for you when I get a message on facebook or IM or a missed call with you saying "Are you alive? I feel like I haven't seen you in forever!" Do NOT put that guilt trip on me. I am one of those people who anytime I go out, I'll invite everybody. I try to have get togethers. I have most likely sent you several e-mails or texts inviting you out. Do I EVER hear back from you? So yes, I'm alive. Have you gone blind recently or just lost all capability of communication?
I know I'm guilty of the not-returned call. But please people, do you drive anywhere during the day? So you can't pick up the phone "Hey, I'm on my way to x event and can't talk long, but just wanted to say thanks for the invite and we should hang out soon".
I feel like my girlfriends are getting as complicated as men--I should NOT have to feel rejected by them too! So let's call this a healthy therapy session where I have gotten pissed off enough to vent...
Now for something happy that always manages to get me in the Christmas spirit...or just a happy mood...
So my post is about friends. Not my true friends, like my sister or my Jennis who I have known for years and STILL manage to make time for me. I'm talking the fair-weather friends-- They only stick around when it's convenient for them.
It wouldn't be so bad if I didn't know that when they tell me they are too busy to hang out, they actually went out elsewhere with other people. As Jen and I vented to each other the other day, it's even worse when these people have boyfriends. And talk to them every day. And probably sleep with them every night. So really, you haven't seen your "best friend" in 3 weeks, but you have to see the guy you see every day and night for dinner...way to prioritize.
My theory on this? If he's the guy for you, you will have the rest of your lives to spend with each other. What if I'm not living near you a year from now? What if I am but I've gotten so fed up with being put on the backburner, that I'm not around when you need a girls night? I'm not one to give up on friendships, but I do have to be a little selfish and think of myself sometimes...and when I'm upset enough to write a blog about this...it's not good for my health!
So don't give me lame excuses. If you're SOOO busy, that's fine, I get it. I've been there. But if you're just WAY too busy until 7pm when you then go out with your boyfriend for dinner and drinks...nope, sorry. Lost my sympathy right there.
And ANOTHER thing, and I really hate this one. Do not expect me to feel bad for you when I get a message on facebook or IM or a missed call with you saying "Are you alive? I feel like I haven't seen you in forever!" Do NOT put that guilt trip on me. I am one of those people who anytime I go out, I'll invite everybody. I try to have get togethers. I have most likely sent you several e-mails or texts inviting you out. Do I EVER hear back from you? So yes, I'm alive. Have you gone blind recently or just lost all capability of communication?
I know I'm guilty of the not-returned call. But please people, do you drive anywhere during the day? So you can't pick up the phone "Hey, I'm on my way to x event and can't talk long, but just wanted to say thanks for the invite and we should hang out soon".
I feel like my girlfriends are getting as complicated as men--I should NOT have to feel rejected by them too! So let's call this a healthy therapy session where I have gotten pissed off enough to vent...
Now for something happy that always manages to get me in the Christmas spirit...or just a happy mood...
Wednesday, December 5, 2007
Gr8, hau weered kan peepel b? Reed on 2 fynd owt
So as many of you know, I am in the world of MySpace and Facebook. I will get some very odd/crude/random/lame messages from time to time...
Here is a clip of a random one:
"...I only look at people for who they are, not how good their body looks. i read some of you blog and no matter what anyone ever tells you, YOU, Mary, have a sharp mind and a wonderfully funny and sweet character. I honestly would like to talk to you, and if you feel comfortable, hang out with you sometime (all spending is on me). You want some drinks, I'll buy them, a movie, tickets are bought, hey a new dress, it's your's. I don't buy affection, I just greatly dislike being cheap, and if a girl is a real woman, she deserves to be treated like one. Whatever you decide is your choice. You are a lovely and smart woman and I know you'll use your mind to make the best decision."
-Okay, I feel really bad posting this on my blog knowing he reads it. However, I don't know him. He is 5 years younger than me (I'm 24, he can't legally buy me drinks, right?) and well, I really just don't respond to that kind of message via facebook/myspace. Sorry buddy, you do get an A for effort though...at least this message just made it into the random category...there are far worse!
Then I got these on MySpace:
"hey baby your hott..i think we could have sum fun!! "-short, to the point...I'm sure like the evening would be (ba-dum ching! count it...)
"To say you are beautiful is to state the obvious, to say you are breath-taking is an understatement but to say I would love to be your friend is to be sincere. Hope we get to chat soon. Stay Charming... "-the title of this message was "Princess"...seriously? I just threw up in my mouth...
"Did you just grab my ass?"-ummm, over the computer? I don't think so...and I just looked at your picture, so I know I wouldn't even virtually attempt to grab that...
"You have great breasts...I mean eyes"-what a great opener...a good one to tell the grandkids the story of how Nana and Paw Paw met...jackass. You have a little...no, very little...tact
"I'm going to be in Memphis the week of March 14 and was wanting somebody to show me around and maybe keep me company. I'd be willing to take you for a nice dinner. Let me know if this sounds like something that you would be interested in"-I'm sorry, does it say on my profile under companies "Whores R Us" or "Prostitute Parlor"? Didn't think so...move along
But yesterday, oh yesterday...I got the greatest one ever. For those of you who know a little about me, you know I HATE it when people can't spell. Even those abbreviations annoy me when used in bulk (u should call l8er 2nite...sweetheart, if I have to take the time to translate it, it's not gonna work out) So imagine my disgust, my horror, and how freaking hard I laughed when I got this message from an 18 year old titled "If only I was older":
"if only i was olderyoued see that i was the one
ifonly i was older i chould hold you at night
if only i was older id make you smile when you cried
if only i was older we chold walk togather
if only iwas older i chould love a butiey like you
if only i was older youed cal me daddy
if only i was older we whould talk for hours
if only i was older youed feel safe in my embrace
if only i was older we whould wach movies all night
if only i was older youed messsage me back"
I mean, how do I respond to that? It's okay you little 18 year old, maybe when you're 21 you'll be older, and MAYBE have learned grammar and spelling by then. In his profile, there are beautiful examples of why children need "Hooked on Phonics" such as "famaly", "deling", "locing", "componey"...aish.
Oh, and I won't be calling you daddy-ever-even if you were 50. Kthanksbye.
I'm in advertising people, and even I can't make this stuff up...
Happy Hump Day!
Here is a clip of a random one:
"...I only look at people for who they are, not how good their body looks. i read some of you blog and no matter what anyone ever tells you, YOU, Mary, have a sharp mind and a wonderfully funny and sweet character. I honestly would like to talk to you, and if you feel comfortable, hang out with you sometime (all spending is on me). You want some drinks, I'll buy them, a movie, tickets are bought, hey a new dress, it's your's. I don't buy affection, I just greatly dislike being cheap, and if a girl is a real woman, she deserves to be treated like one. Whatever you decide is your choice. You are a lovely and smart woman and I know you'll use your mind to make the best decision."
-Okay, I feel really bad posting this on my blog knowing he reads it. However, I don't know him. He is 5 years younger than me (I'm 24, he can't legally buy me drinks, right?) and well, I really just don't respond to that kind of message via facebook/myspace. Sorry buddy, you do get an A for effort though...at least this message just made it into the random category...there are far worse!
Then I got these on MySpace:
"hey baby your hott..i think we could have sum fun!! "-short, to the point...I'm sure like the evening would be (ba-dum ching! count it...)
"To say you are beautiful is to state the obvious, to say you are breath-taking is an understatement but to say I would love to be your friend is to be sincere. Hope we get to chat soon. Stay Charming... "-the title of this message was "Princess"...seriously? I just threw up in my mouth...
"Did you just grab my ass?"-ummm, over the computer? I don't think so...and I just looked at your picture, so I know I wouldn't even virtually attempt to grab that...
"You have great breasts...I mean eyes"-what a great opener...a good one to tell the grandkids the story of how Nana and Paw Paw met...jackass. You have a little...no, very little...tact
"I'm going to be in Memphis the week of March 14 and was wanting somebody to show me around and maybe keep me company. I'd be willing to take you for a nice dinner. Let me know if this sounds like something that you would be interested in"-I'm sorry, does it say on my profile under companies "Whores R Us" or "Prostitute Parlor"? Didn't think so...move along
But yesterday, oh yesterday...I got the greatest one ever. For those of you who know a little about me, you know I HATE it when people can't spell. Even those abbreviations annoy me when used in bulk (u should call l8er 2nite...sweetheart, if I have to take the time to translate it, it's not gonna work out) So imagine my disgust, my horror, and how freaking hard I laughed when I got this message from an 18 year old titled "If only I was older":
"if only i was olderyoued see that i was the one
ifonly i was older i chould hold you at night
if only i was older id make you smile when you cried
if only i was older we chold walk togather
if only iwas older i chould love a butiey like you
if only i was older youed cal me daddy
if only i was older we whould talk for hours
if only i was older youed feel safe in my embrace
if only i was older we whould wach movies all night
if only i was older youed messsage me back"
I mean, how do I respond to that? It's okay you little 18 year old, maybe when you're 21 you'll be older, and MAYBE have learned grammar and spelling by then. In his profile, there are beautiful examples of why children need "Hooked on Phonics" such as "famaly", "deling", "locing", "componey"...aish.
Oh, and I won't be calling you daddy-ever-even if you were 50. Kthanksbye.
I'm in advertising people, and even I can't make this stuff up...
Happy Hump Day!
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